How to Understand the Relationship Between Venereal Disease and a Sound Sex Code.

Have you considered the relationship of venereal disease to a sound sex code?
Attempts to scare people into morality by holding up the dangers of venereal disease have not been effective. Our proper suspicion of this approach to morality should not become, however, an excuse for ignorance and false ideas.

There is a widespread illusion that modern medical science has just about licked venereal disease. The facts are quite otherwise. Our latest statistics show more new cases of ven­ereal diseases than of influenza, tuberculosis, pneumonia, and malaria combined. We make a great effort to combat in­fantile paralysis. Syphilis is forty-three times more prevalent, and among one group of life insurance policy-holders, the death rate was nearly twenty-seven times as great. One esti­mate indicates that twenty percent of those who consort illicitly have venereal disease. By the law of averages, if you have intercourse with five different persons, one will have VD. Against this health menace there is at present only one effective defense; morality. The army has used every known medical resource to combat venereal infections. Soldiers have been instructed and provided with every known preventative and treatment. Despite the very best which medical science could do, the rate in the Army of Occupation rose to twenty-five percent. How do such facts affect you and your conduct?

They should affect, first of all, the problem of premarital relationships. C and R were engaged. Being of a more "liberal" school they had sex relationships both with each other and with a few especially close friends of whom they were genuinely fond; R with two other men, and C with four other girls. One of these other girls had consorted with sev­eral of her good friends, and one of these had consorted with a diseased prostitute. R's infection was thus received fourth-hand, but it was no less tragic. It went undetected for some time; sufficient to render her sterile. C was a fairly nice boy, and he wanted a family with children. He did take pains to become cured of his own infection, but he also broke his engagement with R.

In many states, those who marry are required by law to make sure that neither of them has a venereal infection. This is far from enough. It is important that the bride have a thorough examination by a competent gynecolo­gist. The specialist can often detect conditions which need correction in their earlier stages, when they are easier to correct, which the general practitioner lacks the experience to perceive. In several of our counseling cases, gynecologists were able to make such corrections, which examinations by general practitioners had overlooked, and have saved brides from the necessity of dangerous operations later. To find such a specialist you may have to visit a larger city. Do so without hesitation. It may be a matter of life and death. It can easily be a matter serious for health.

The examination of the groom is less serious and difficult, but still important. For one thing, he should be able to qualify for life insurance. It may be possible for him to com­bine two examinations in one. Marriage makes demands upon the groom and potential father which call for good health. You should at least know what that state of health is. Ignorance is no excuse, and certainly no protection.

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How to Understand the Importance of Self-Confidence and Trust to Reduce Jealousy in a Successful Marriage

Self-confidence is usually regarded as a trait of personality, rather than of character. Perhaps it is. Yet it is often the basic element in a very important character problem, namely, jeal­ousy. Writers on marriage usually handle jealousy as they would the problem of a washed-out bridge. They put up warning and detour signs. They point out the awful results of jealousy. No marriage can succeed until the "green-eyed monster" has been vanquished.

The basic fallacy in this approach is the assumption that jealousy can be overcome by an act of will. The man on the road who sees the warning sign can take the detour, and probably will. But jealousy is not a rational proposition. The jealous mate may recognize clearly the dangers of his condition. But he can no more cure his jealousy by merely determining to do so, than he could cure himself of cancer, fallen arches, or eczema. Jealousy often results in a lack of confidence in one's self. The conviction that most other men are smarter, most other women more attractive; the feel­ing that no one could love me; such are the base of much jealousy. Warnings may only add to the feelings of helpless­ness and guilt, thus doing more harm than good. Not until confidence is established can jealousy be overcome.

The story is told of a man with an insanely jealous wife. Instead of trying to defend himself from her accusations, or scolding her for her lack of confidence in him, he acted to build her up. He persuaded the ice man and the milk man to try to flirt with her. He hired several men to try to pick her up on the street. With her confidence in her attractive­ness thus restored, she lost her jealousy. The cure is not al­ways so simple. The reasons for a lack of self-confidence may lie deeply hidden in the subconscious. Cure may involve ex­tensive analysis and treatment. Our purpose here is not to point out how a lack of self-confidence can be cured. We wish only to indicate that those who lack it are not yet ready for marriage.

Can you trust others?

Similar to jealousy is an excessive suspicion of others. We have already warned against trusting people to the point of marriage before you have proved them. There is the op­posite danger of trusting no one at all on any matter. For those investigating a crime, a suspicion of everyone who might possibly be connected with it may be a proper atti­tude. It is no sound basis for marriage. Undue suspicion of others usually indicates one of two conditions which make marriage questionable. It may mean that the individual lacks confidence in his own judgment. Therefore the one safe procedure is to trust no one. Or it may indicate that the person himself is not to be trusted. We often judge others by what we know ourselves to be. The man who is unduly sus­picious may be telling us that he is not to be trusted. Lack of trust in others either is a character defect, or it indicates a personality condition which can easily become a character defect.

This is all the more important because a couple who begin by mistrusting others may end up by not trusting each other. Increasingly the marriage will be marred by jealousies and suspicions until finally the strain will become too great and the marriage will break. The ability to trust others, under proper circumstances and after adequate testing, is a char­acter essential of paramount importance for marriage, or any other kind of successful living.

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- Do you want to know what men are looking for in a date?
- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?
- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?
- Do you know that those theories or "formulas" on getting or keeping the man you love in your life will not work if you do not understand why your man think and behave the way he does?This package is required reading for every woman who loves a man... Get it today! Click Here