How to Understand More About the Purpose of Sex in Human Life and Marriage

Do you understand the purpose of sex in human life?

Sex as we now know it has resulted from an evolutionary process covering perhaps millions of years. Nature did not de­velop this just so that we who live today could have fun. The basic purpose was to maintain the human race.

Babies can be and are born outside of marriage. But they are not so born in sufficient numbers to maintain the race. A thousand housewives will have far more children than a thousand prostitutes. As to the fruitfulness of sex relation­ships within and outside of marriage, there is no comparison. Most married couples both want and have children. Out­side of marriage every effort is made to keep the relation­ships completely unproductive. Ask young people this ques­tion, "If you marry, do you hope to have children?" With few exceptions, the answer is "Yes." Now ask, "If you were to have sex relationships outside marriage, would you hope to have children?" The almost universal answer is an em­phatic "No." Ask yourselves these same questions. For reasons which are easy to understand, in sex relationships outside of marriage, children are the exception. Within marriage, chil­dren are the rule. Sound sex standards are not the inventions of narrow-minded moralists. They arise out of the require­ments of nature, and especially, of human nature of which you are part.

From the standpoint of race survival it is important, not only that babies should be born, but that they should be cared for properly after their arrival. Of all animals, the hu­man infant is the most helpless, not only at birth, but for the longest time thereafter. While the children are small, both they and the mother need the help and care of the father. In sex relationships outside marriage, the father is less likely to accept such responsibility. Unmarried fathers often be­come panicky and try to get out from under. A sex code which limits relationships to marriage best provides that security for mother and child which is essential to the per­petuation of the human race.

Sex, then, has essential purposes rooted in human survival. The young couple of today will succeed in their marriage only if they have a sound sex code based upon a clear under­standing of the purpose of sex in the long process of human evolution. For the human race and its survival includes you and your children.

Growing evidence seems to show that the family is not less, but more important for civilization than we used to think that it was. The strength and soundness of any people de­pend largely upon what we may call "spiritual vitamins." Good family life is not the only source of these, but it is the main source. Therefore the future of any society or nation depends largely upon the healthiness of its family life.

Within marriage, sex strengthens and enriches the family. Sex relationships outside marriage weaken and harm sound family living. One incident of adultery will not necessarily prove fatal; any more than one incident of pneumonia will necessarily kill an individual. But in either case, the condi­tion is weakening and dangerous, and should be avoided or corrected. Love for those outside the family circle there must and should be. But the limitation of sexual expressions of love to husband and wife is essential for the building of that depth of relationship upon which sound family life so largely depends. The demand for sexual fidelity is no outgrown taboo. It is a safeguard necessary to protect the family which is the unit of society upon which civilization itself so largely rests.

500 Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know! - What you absolutely must know about the man you like!

- Do you want to know what men are looking for in a date?

- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?

- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?

- Do you know that those theories or "formulas" on getting or keeping the man you love in your life will not work if you do not understand why your man think and behave the way he does?

This package is requried reading for every woman who loves a man... Get it today! Click Here

How to Understand the Facts and Fictions About Love

How well do you understand the facts and fictions about love?

Most Americans take it for granted that love is the one thing which really counts in choosing a life partner. "Do I love him?" or, "Do I love her enough?" Many young peo­ple believe that the answer to these questions should settle the matter of marriage. Bill might make a far better hus­band, but if Jill loves Jack more than she loves Bill, she will marry Jack.

In many other cultures, and at other times and places, the idea of what is most important in marriage has been quite different. Before we assume that our ideas are correct, or even better, we should ask ourselves how we have come by them.
So far as we as individuals are concerned, the answer is not difficult. We believe that love is the crucial matter in marriage because this idea has been drilled into us from childhood. Our movies are partly responsible; most plots are so organized in moving pictures. For example, parents who object to the love choices of their children are made to appear selfish and wrong. Such considerations as differences in family or social position are made to seem unimportant. When young people defy their parents or their traditions and marry for love, we applaud. The picture has been so produced as to make us feel that we should. It might have been so developed as to give the opposite impression.

The novels and stories which most of us read present the same general point of view. The girl is sometimes repre­sented as engaged to some nice, respectable person whom she does not love. So that we will not like him, he is por­trayed as intolerably stuffy. Therefore when she runs off and marries the man she really loves, often at the very last minute, we feel that she has done the right thing. The gen­eral idea often is that a husband should be someone glamor­ous and exciting.
Advertisements help to hammer the same idea home. In the soap operas, love and happiness are presented as the only things in marriage which are worth while. Many other ads play up the same idea. Love and glamour—these are the im­portant considerations, so we are told.

Of course the movies, stories, and ads present this point of view because it is in line with what we already believe, and want to keep on believing. Back of it all is the very pow­erful force of public opinion. The fiction is accepted because that is the way marriage choices seem to work out in real life. For example, there was Cousin Gussie. All the family thought that her marriage was a mistake. But when she explained that he was the man she loved, that seemed to settle the question for everyone. Our friends have made what have seemed to others very peculiar choices. But we all seemed to feel that if they were really in love, there was nothing else for them to do.

These love matches did not always work out very well. Even in the stories, the glamorous Romeo, whom the girl left all to marry, was sometimes presented as little more than an attractive and exciting tramp. After the marriage he may desert her and their children and leave them without finan­cial or emotional support for months or even years at a time. Yet, according to the fiction, despite all these hardships, the girl had done the only thing she could do; marry the man she loved.

These strange and often tragic choices are often explained on the basis that love just doesn't make sense anyway. Love is supposed to be some strange mysterious Something which nobody can understand. The only way you can tell it is by the way you feel when your heart goes bumpity-bump, and all that. Furthermore, there doesn't seem to be anything you can do about it. It just IS, or IS NOT. You cannot make yourself love another, no matter how eager he may be to marry you, or how good a husband he would make. On the other hand, when it does hit you, you are a goner. Cupid just sneaks up on people, twangs his bow, and before any­body knows it, they are hooked, regardless of how suitable the marriage may or may not be. Such is the fiction upon the basis of which so many young people select their marriage partners. Now let us look at some of the facts.

One of the most inescapable facts is the extent of marriage failure. Hundreds of thousands crowd our divorce courts, often bitter and disillusioned. Yet, these same people were quite as much in love with each other as most young people are at the time of marriage. Obviously something is terribly wrong with this idea that marriages should be based upon feelings of love which people have toward each other.
Even more conclusive evidence is to be found in the speed with which these romantic ideas die out for most people after marriage. Think of the people whom you know who have been married for ten years or more. How many of them still have this romantic glow which is supposed to be the very purpose of marriage? The failure of romantic love to con­tinue does not mean that there is something the matter with any particular marriage, or with marriage in general. It does mean that selecting life partners on the basis of this sup­posed love feeling alone is not enough. In other words, we have been making our choices too often on the basis of fic­tions alone. If our marriages are to succeed, we must ex­change these fancies for facts. Let us now consider what some of these facts are.

Fact One: Love is not any more strange and mysterious than many other human experiences. Actually there does exist a real and growing body of scientific knowledge about it. We know a great deal about the nature of love, why it hits the way it does, and why it can or cannot stand up un­der the long pull of marriage.

Anything is mysterious; the rising and setting of the sun, the circulation of the blood, or changes in the weather—all are strange and mysterious to those who lack scientific knowl­edge about them. Many who drive cars have only the slight­est idea of what goes on under the hood, or what to do if the car refuses to start. Why people suddenly become ill, or are suddenly hit by a pain at the back of the neck, may be as complete mysteries as the sudden coming of love. But as our knowledge grows, all such experiences become increas­ingly understandable. In love as in health, you can tell little by the way you feel. The man in terrible pain may have only simple indigestion which will cure itself, while the man who feels nothing wrong may suddenly drop dead of heart failure. Those who feel most sure of their love are often the poorest marriage risks. Having a healthy marriage, like hav­ing a healthy body, calls for the best scientific knowledge we can get.

Fact Two: There is not just one, but there are many forms of love. The man who is not well may use just one word to de­scribe how he feels. He may say that he feels sick. The medically trained man knows that although many forms of illness may feel alike, actually they represent many different kinds of diseases which are quite different from each other. So it is with love. There are many forms of it. Those in love may feel quite similar to those whose love is of a very dif­ferent type. Actually, however, one form of love may be quite unlike another.

Some forms of love are essential to successful marriage, or even to successful living. Other kinds of love are forms of selfishness. For example, we say that we love oranges. The orange would not think so. We destroy it for our pleasure, and then throw what is left in the garbage. Sometimes we love people in the same way—even our own children. We get what we want out of them, often regardless of their wishes or best interests. Sometimes young people love and want to marry, mainly because they want to get something out of the other, not because they desire his good. Yet this selfish kind of love may look and feel just like any other kind. Not all forms of love are good and sound. Some forms should be warning signals, rather than bases for marriage. The im­portant question is not, "Do I love him enough to marry him?" It is rather, do we feel the kind of love toward each other upon which a marriage can successfully be built?

Fact Three: The richest, deepest, and most permanent forms of love are those which we build over the years. So you are in love. You feel a warm, romantic glow toward each other which you do not feel toward anyone else. Grand. The love which you feel toward each other may be honest and teal. If you marry, it will give you a good start. But the love which will make your marriage most worth-while, which will not only endure but grow through the years, is not this ro­mantic kind. It is the richer, deeper kind which comes from Having with another who is in a true sense a life partner; one with whom you have in common the basic purpose of building a family together; someone who is going your way. Only such a love can really meet your needs. Only such a love can weld your marriage together so that it can easily withstand the storms and stresses which pull against it. The romantic form of love may be able to give you some thrilling experiences for a few weeks, or even a few years. Only this richer form of love can make the latter part of your life richer, and in a sense, more romantic than were the first years. And this love is not anything you can fall into. It must be built.

500 Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know! - What you absolutely must know about the man you like!

- Do you want to know what men are looking for in a date?

- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?

- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?

- Do you know that those theories or "formulas" on getting or keeping the man you love in your life will not work if you do not understand why your man think and behave the way he does?

This package is requried reading for every woman who loves a man... Get it today! Click Here