How to Tell if You Are Emotionally Stable Enough for Marriage

How can you tell how emotionally stable you are?
It is not easy. Here are a few suggestions which may help. Are you usually well poised? Under sufficient pressure, al­most anyone will become irritable. All of us are occasionally "out of sorts." But if slight irritations bother you too much, this is a danger signal. So is constant pouting. The ability to keep from getting unduly excited, even in serious situations, is a good sign. The person not easily bothered or upset is, at this point, a good marriage bet.

Are you excessively "nervous?" Have you ever had a "nervous breakdown?" If you have, this will not necessarily unfit you for marriage. People can recover from this, as from any ailment. But if the tendency to nervous breakdown re­mains, watch out. A history of several nervous breakdowns is a danger signal which ought to be examined by a com­petent consultant.

Do you drink excessively? Do you find that at times you are not able to control your drinking? In recent years, scien­tific research has been done on the subject of alcoholism. We now know that this is a mental illness. No alcoholic is a safe matrimonial risk until he has been completely cured.

Are you a chain smoker? This is a less serious form o£ the same problem. If chronic, it usually indicates a difficulty which should be looked into.

Are you an inveterate movie-goer? Do you frequently go, not because you want to see some particular picture, but because you feel uneasy? Do you read cheap and trashy litera­ture for the same reason?

Do you strongly desire to dominate others? Does it annoy you unduly to recognize that you are wrong sometimes; do you always have to be right? We have already discussed this problem at some length.

Are you constantly changing your job, your school, or your friends?

Can you make up your own mind?
Elsie never could. As a child she depended upon her mother, and in later life, her roommate to tell her what dress to wear. If her friends did not like a boy, she would drop him, no matter how well she liked him. For her political and economic opinions she read one newspaper only, and believed what it said.

As children, we tend to follow rather uncritically the judg­ments of our parents, teachers, or the gang we go with. But as we grow up, we should be able to form our own judg­ments; to listen to different opinions, and weigh them intel­ligently. As adults, we must continue to depend upon the judgment of experts in areas which are not our specialties, Yet it is one thing to depend upon others for our facts. It is another to accept their opinions in all matters without ques­tion. The expert is often wrong. The person who is mentally healthy always reserves the right to make his own judgment.

If you follow blindly the judgments of some friend, radio commentator, church, magazine, newspaper, or political party, it is a sign of danger. Why is the ability to make up your own mind important for success in marriage? In the first place, because of what it indicates. Elsie was a poor marriage risk because she was still emotionally a child. Inability to make independent judg­ments shows a lack of inner security and an arrested development. Marriage and par­enthood are difficult jobs. They require a high degree of intelligence and understanding for success. If you depend primarily upon some outside "authority," you will not be able to make the kind of intelligent judgments which are essential if you are to run your household and bring up your children wisely. Only those who can assume responsibil­ity for their own judgments are ready to assume the re­sponsibilities of marriage.

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- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?

- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?
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How to Tell If You Are Eager Just to Get Married or Marrying to Get Away From it All

How eager are you "just to get married?" Has this eagerness made you feel love for unsuitable persons be­cause you could get them? Is your home or work situation unhappy? Are you marrying to "get away from it all?"

Getting married is, and should be, a romantic and thrill­ing adventure. The excitement of getting ready, the wed­ding in which you are the center of attention, the thrill of establishing a new and intimate relationship with another person; these rightly have great appeal. When June comes and you see so many of your friends getting married, and there is someone special whom you like and who wants to marry you, it is quite a temptation! No wonder that under such circumstances some people feel that they are in love.

The danger is that such marriages may end up as "roller coaster" marriages. They are highly exciting at first and for a brief time. But the couple ends up at the bottom with a thrill which is past. Those who are rather lonely and hungry for love must be especially careful about this. he love which they think they feel toward a person may really be a love for the excitement of getting married. Even when there are other bases, this love for a thrill may be enough, in com­bination with other motives, to push us into a marriage which is not for the best. All of us need to watch out!

The trains came and the trains went on through Smallville, but Susan never went anywhere except to visit her aunt and uncle who lived in the same kind of small town about fifty miles down the line. Oscar was a nice boy with whom she had gone through high school. She liked him, and he was really interested in her. But if she married him, what could that bring her? Oscar was working in his father's store, which some day he would take over, and they would be stuck in Smallville all their lives. But Jerry was something different. Jerry was a counselor in a boy's camp, whom she had met at a dance one Saturday night. She had been dating him on his nights off ever since, for Jerry was not like the hicks in Smallville. He was from Big Town. If she mar­ried him she would live where things were really going on; could go to the theatre where big stars played in per­son, shop at really big stores, and mingle with real crowds. Susan knew little about Jerry except that he had a fast line, a citified manner, and a job in the Big City. But since she was in love with him, wasn't that enough? Or was she only in love with the possibility of getting out of Smallville?

How often is this "love" which some feel the desire to get away from a quarrelsome, bickering family, a dominating mother, or a tight little office in which one feels stifled? It is understandable that people should strive to get away from that which annoys them, although the basic reasons for the annoyance may be in themselves. When you marry you assume responsibilities; you do not escape them. A good marriage will mean that life will be much richer and more worthwhile, but it will not be easier. Marriage creates as many problems as it solves. The success of your marriage will depend upon what you are getting into, not what you get away from.

500 Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know! - What you absolutely must know about the man you like!
- Do you want to know what men are looking for in a date?
- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?

- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?

- Do you know that those theories or "formulas" on getting or keeping the man you love in your life will not work if you do not understand why your man think and behave the way he does?

This package is requried reading for every woman who loves a man... Get it today! Click Here