How to Say “No” and Mean It

It may be hard enough to say no to a request but really meaning it can be even harder. Many of us are already perpetual suckers who find themselves challenged to even considering answering no to a request. Those of us who are able to say no, at least initially, often end up giving in and conceding to the request because the one in need was able to see that our answer wasn’t firm and persisted until we gave up and surrendered to their request. A few tips for how to say no and mean it include using a firm voice and not offering apologies for your answer, offering a valid reason for your refusal and consistently answering no if the request is repeated.

A firm and determined tone in your voice is the first step to being able to really say no and mean it. If you allow your tone to be light the person making the request of you will probably sense that your refusal is not firm. If your voice does not sound definitive, the other person may make the assumption that your answer is not definitive either and will take another opportunity to repeat their request either immediately or at another time. A firm voice however, makes it clear that you are not interested in answering yes to this request and that future attempts to get you to acquiesce will be futile. The tone of voice you use is important when saying no because it conveys the message that you really mean no.

It is also important to not offer apology when you say no. Doing so may lead to the person making the request believing that you don’t really mean no. While it is acceptable to say that you are sorry you won’t be able to help out, offering you apology simply for saying no is not appropriate. If you apologize for your answer, the person making the request will sense that you can be convinced to change your answer. Apologizing for a refusal conveys a sense of guilt and many people will prey on that vulnerability to get you to change your mind.

Another way to convey the message when you say no is to offer valid reasons for your refusal. This is extremely effective because it lets the person no that your refusal is not based on whim and that you truly have a legitimate reason for not being able to offer your assistance. You may be too busy to help or have other previous commitments and it is acceptable to offer these excuses to justify your refusal. If the person making the request understands that you would like to help them but that it’s simply not possibly, they will be less likely to repeat their request. Offering valid excuses for answering no to a request proves that you really mean no and that future attempts to get you to agree are not reasonable.

Saying no to a request initially sometimes is not enough to prove that you really mean no. While you may answer firmly and without apology and offer valid excuses for your refusal, there are some persistent people who may continue to repeat their request in the hopes of receiving a positive answer. In this scenario it is imperative that you be consistent and answer no every time the request is made. In doing this you will affirm that your answer is no. A lack of consistency may result in the other person realizing that you can be worn down over time and that if they continue to repeat their request they will eventually get the answer they are seeking from you.

Saying no can be incredibly difficult but really meaning no and being firm in your answer can be even harder. In order to be able to say no and really mean it you have to ensure that your tone of voice is firm and that your answer does not offer apologies. You also have to be sure that you offer valid reasons for your answer and that your answer remains consistent no matter how many times the request is made. All of this can be difficult especially if you are truly interested in helping others but you also need to realize that you have a right to say no for any reason and that your answer should be respected.

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How to Read Romantic Body Language

Being able to read body language can give your clues as to whether someone has a romantic interest in you or not. By accurately reading their body language you will be able to determine whether or not the other person is feeling comfortable around you and eager to get to know you better. Understanding body language is also significant because it can ensure that you are not unintentionally sending the wrong messages out to other people. Body language can often be both subtle and subconscious but if you are aware of your body language you can make a conscious effort to make sure that you are sending an accurate message to others with your own body language. The art of reading body language really isn’t difficult and once you are familiar with a few guidelines you will come to realize that understanding body language is very intuitive. Correctly reading body language will ensure that you don’t miss out on approaching potential partners who are sending you signs that they are interested in pursuing a romance with you.

How close a person stands to you can be one of the most important body language clues to whether someone is interested in you romantically or not. Their proximity to you can be directly proportional to their romantic interest in you. In other words the closer they stand to you the more interested they are in you romantically and the farther they stand away from you the less interested they are in pursuing a romance with you. In general the two foot rule applies. This means that if a person does not get closer than two feet to you, they aren’t interested in a romance with you. This distance is significant because a length of two feet is approximately an arms length and standing this far from you makes the other person feel safe that you will not reach out and physically touch them. This subtle use of body language to avoid closeness with you is a clear sign of a lack of romantic interest. Conversely, if the person stands closer to you and within arms reach they are not apprehensive about being touched by you and are sending you a signal that they are interested in you. The intimacy of standing close to someone is a clear body language indication that you have a romantic interest in that person.

Another body language clue that someone is interested in you is that they begin to copy your own body language. This often happens subconsciously but if you notice someone mimicking your behaviors it is a clear sign that they are interested in you. This mimicking behavior can begin almost immediately and is very easy to read or pick up on. If you notice this behavior, you may initially feel upset as though the other person is mocking you by copying you but this is not the case. In fact the behavior should be flattering because it is an indication that the other person admires you and is trying to become more like you in subtle ways. More often than not the other person isn’t even aware of what they are doing but there is a natural instinct to try to imitate those that we admire to draw ourselves closer to them. Mimicking is pretty easy to notice and it is also a clear body language indication of romantic interest.

Body positioning can also be a form of body language that can either convey romantic interest or disinterest. When speaking to someone, if their body and particularly their torso is turned towards you and leaning closer to you this is an indication of romantic interest. This body positioning leaves you unguarded and vulnerable which indicates trust in the other person. If this trust were not in existence you would not put yourself in such a vulnerable position and would be more likely to stand with your body turned slightly away from the other person and leaning away from them. Standing in a way that positions your body in an open position towards another person is a clear example of body language that expresses a romantic interest.

Your eyes often send body language messages to those around you letting them know whether or not you are interested in them. When you have a romantic interest in someone you make eye contact and also blink often. Both of these signals let the other person know that you are attracted to them by conveying the message that you are interested in what they have to say. Avoiding eye contact lets a person know that you are not comfortable with them and that you do not have a romantic interest in them. If you are uncomfortable looking someone directly in the eye and avoid eye contact, you are trying to send the message that you are not interested in further contact with them. It’s often said that the eyes are the windows to the soul and this may be true as your eyes can certainly send quite a message.

Although body language is often subtle and subconscious it can also send a clear message regarding romantic interest. Perhaps the fact that body language is subconscious is what also makes it such an accurate indication or romantic language. Since body language is done without thought it allows the person to send messages that they would be uncomfortable conveying verbally.

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- Do you want to know what men are looking for in a date?
- Do you know what your man need and want in relationship, romance, marriage and sex?
- Do you want to move from being his "wife potential" to being his wife?
- Do you know that those theories or "formulas" on getting or keeping the man you love in your life will not work if you do not understand why your man think and behave the way he does?

This package is required reading for every woman who loves a man... Get it today! Click Here